


Taunting Sokovia a Second Time

by Gang_Aft_Agley



Series: It Takes a Village [3]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 2018 Winter Olympics, But what else is new?, Gen, Hockey, Olympics, Swearing, Team USA, Zemo is a Total Dick, my totally ricidulous winter sports crossover, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gang_Aft_Agley/pseuds/Gang_Aft_Agley
Summary: There's no fighting in Olympic hockey, but for Helmut Zemo, Team USA really wants to make an exception.





	Taunting Sokovia a Second Time

"Groups are out, Steve," Georgia announced as she stepped into the weight room where her team captain was sneaking in a solitary workout. 

"And....?"  She grimaced and shook her head.

"And we're facing Sokovia first." Steve took a deep breath and did another squat before he answered.

"Well ... that's less than optimal."  _Exhale - down - inhale - up_.  "Does Bucky know?"

"Yeah, I think so.  Derek had him in a headlock and was dragging him somewhere when I passed them a couple of minutes ago.  There was a lot of swearing on both sides."

" _Shit."_  

The weight bar hit the ground with a metallic _clang_ as Steve took off at a run.

* * *

Steve found Bucky in the trainer's office, having his hand examined, surrounded by most of their teammates.

"Well, I don't think it's broken, but we should probably do an x-ray, just in case," Dr. Cho was saying as he jogged up to join the circle of the concerned and the cackling.

"What.  Happened."    
  
Derek Nurse rolled his eyes and jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the patient.

"Dumbass here punched a wall when he found out about the groupings."

"Seriously?"  Steve could absolutely believe it, but he really, really didn't want to.

"The fuck did you expect, man?"  Parson added.  "Especially after the last time you guys played the Blackhawks, remember?"  Steve inhaled deeply, fighting for calm.

"I expected not to lose my liney to a stupid, preventable injury before the Games even start!"  Parson paused, and raised a finger.

“…okay, fair point.  Also, you’re starting to sound like Zimms, which is just fucking _weird_.”

“At least he’s getting this shit out of his system now,” Derek pointed out with a shrug. Steve was … less than mollified.

"That doesn't help if he can't _play_."

"He'll play, Steve, don't worry," Cho called back over her shoulder as she led Bucky away, bag of ice wrapped around one hand and flashing the rest of the team a thumbs-up with the other.  (His eyes were still radiating cold bloody murder, though).  "Good as new in no time." 

"Oh, I’m sure he'll be _fine,_ Doc," Steve ground out between clenched teeth.  "If I don't kill him first."

* * *

"Look, I hate to say this, but it's really _not_ Barnes you need to worry about," Kent said a few days later, and then flinched as a puck deflected off the boards with far more force than was strictly necessary.  Steve raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You were saying....?"  Kent shook his head with a rueful grimace.  
  
"Okay, yeah, he's pissed _now_ , sure.  But if Zemo tries anything again, he's not the one we gotta look out for."

"Yeah, that would be Brucie-Bear," Derek added, gliding by to gleefully throw his fellow d-man under the bus of Steve Rogers' frustration with the universe.

"Huh?"  Kent blinked at Steve's obvious confusion, and then a slow grin spread across his face.

"Ohhhh, you never actually went back and watched the footage, did you?"  Steve grimaced.

"No, I didn't have any desire to actually _see_ my skull get cracked open.  _Feeling_ it was bad enough."

"Do you remember _any_ of it?"  Steve shook his head.

"Not really, it's mostly a blur."

"Okay, so, Zemo slammed into you, you went down, your helmet popped off, it was bad, blood gushing everywhere, really nasty stuff.” Steve glared.

“Yeah, I remember _that_ part.” Kent just kept grinning.

“ Right, so, _after_ you nearly died, Barnes practically teleported to your side, and followed you off the ice. He refused to come back in, so _Banner_ was the one who tried to take Zemo's head off for the rest of the game."

Steve's jaw dropped, and Kent patted his cheek.

"They don't call him the Hulk for nothing, Rogers."

* * *

Kent was right, unfortunately.  Bruce was, uh ... well, _quietly seething_ would not be terribly far off the mark.

Except he wasn't quiet at all.

"Fucking _Sokovia_.  The actual motherfucking _fuck_?"   
  
Generally, Bruce (like his fellow d-man) tended to be calm and chill – right up until the moment he really, _really_ wasn’t. And taking into account the last period of that one particular Blackhawks game, captainly intervention was probably called for.

"Bruce, please remember that this is _Olympic_ hockey.  So just ... let the refs do their job, okay?"

Bruce’s nostrils flared slightly and his lips tightened.

"I'm perfectly aware of that, Steve, seeing as our jerseys say USA, _and_ I have to play _with_ Kent Parson."

Steve bit his lip; tact really wasn't his strong point, but he needed to at least _try_ to nip this in the bud before the Opening Ceremonies.

"I'm just saying, the last time we played against Zemo, things apparently got ... a little out of hand."

Bucky, gliding along behind them, snorted.

"If that's your definition of a _little out of hand_ , Stevie...."  Steve shot him an unimpressed glare.

"No one died, which is about all you can ask for when dealing with Zemo," Parson murmured, coming up on Bruce's other side.

"You _would_ say that," Bucky grinned.  "Fuckin' Aces hockey, man."  Kent turned and jabbed a finger into his shoulder.

"Shut it, Barnes, or I'll send Tater _and_ Romanova after you."  Bucky flipped him off, unrepentant, and Parson sobered.  "Seriously, though, I hope someone tipped off the refs to keep an eye on Half-Dick Zero.  Asshole has a serious hate-on for you, and it could get ugly ... again."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"It'll be _fine_ , guys, as long as Bruce doesn't try to take his fucking head off this time."  Bruce glowered, eyes alight with menace.

"Look, you were out for three games after that hit, I wasn't gonna let him get away with that bullshit."

"Why hasn't the league banned his stupid ass, again?" Derek asked, laying a calming hand on Bruce's arm.

" 'Cause he's a sneaky bastard who always manages to skirt the edge of plausible deniability, every _fucking_ time," Kent explained.  "And some teams _like_ having a barely leashed psycho on the roster."

"You would know, Parse."

"Fuck you, Nurse."

"But why _does_ Zemo hate Steve so much?" Chowder skated up out of the goal, since they were apparently taking an impromptu break.  "The way he acts, you'd think Cap took his mother out for a nice seafood dinner and then never called her again."

Bucky sighed and slung an arm around Chowder's shoulders.

"No one knows, and by now, no one really gives a shit.  He's just a colossal _dick_."

"So pretty.  So petty.  So punchable," Parse added sagely.

Bucky gagged and mock-vomited into his glove.

"I'm going just _ignore_ the fact that you called the wonder-weasel, 'pretty', Parse, what the hell?"  Kent flipped him off with a scowl.

"Look, you can't deny that the man has flawless bone structure: the overall effect is just ruined by the discernible lack of a soul lurking behind his eyes," Thirdy decided to join in, mouth quirked slightly in amusement at his younger teammates' antics. Kent threw up his hands in agreement.

"Exactly!"

"Hey, how you do say, 'Fuck your mother" in Sokovian?" Nursey asked suddenly.  "You know, just in case.  Hypothetically.  On the off chance that the subject comes up." 

Steve groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"How about we _not_ taunt the ... what did Parse call him?  The barely leashed psycho!"

"Nope, I for one am _all_ about taunting the asshole, since we can't punch him this time," Bruce grinned, showing far too many teeth.

"I’ll text Nat after practice; if she doesn’t know, she can ask Wanda for a translation," Bucky piped up with a smile nearly as feral as Bruce's.  "They hate Zemo almost as much as we do, and the Maximoffs have to share a dorm with him."  
  
Nursey nudged Bucky in the ribs with his elbow as Fury blew his whistle in three short blasts that meant _you motherfuckers need to STOP socializing_ _and get back to hockey goddammit_.

"Have her get 'I fart in your general direction,' too.  Can't go wrong with the classics!"


End file.
